Wondering what a home study is?  You are not alone!  Adoption is wonderful and beautiful and NOT for the faint of heart.

Once you’ve decided that you are going to adopt you are bombarded with information and choices and paperwork and course work.  You will be asked to divulge your yearly income, your preference on gender and race for your future baby.  You will have someone come to your home, inspect it, and question you and your ability to care for a child.

That last part is what I want to focus on today.  The ominous home study.

What is a Home Study?

Let’s start with the basics.  In short, a home study is a report/document written by a case worker or social worker that says whether or not you can be a parent through adoption.  If you are going through an agency, they will usually provide a social worker for you.  If you are doing a private adoption you will be responsible to provide your own.  Make sure you find one that has experience with the kind of adoption you are pursuing.  If you are doing international adoption, your social worker must know how to do home studies for your sending country!

A home study includes information about your family and marriage, your health, your finances, your home and neighborhood, your criminal history (hopefully you don’t have one), and personal references.  It will cover your feelings on adoption, parenting style, infertility, open adoption, and birth parents.  In some cases, other people are interviewed about your strengths and weaknesses, your interactions with children, and your marriage.

At the end of this extensive process you will have a social worker’s recommendation that you are allowed to adopt.  This is given to the judge when you appear in court to finalize the adoption, so that he has the information he needs to feel confident that the baby will be safe and well cared for in your home and with your family.  It’s INSANELY detailed and INSANELY important!

For us, the home study was the lengthiness step of the adoption process.

Paper work

There were stacks of paper work to fill out that covered all the above-mentioned areas of our lives.  We had to have:

• background checks
• 3-5 letters of recommendations
• copies of tax returns and pay stubs
• health reports (proving infertility and ensuring we were fit for parenthood)
• relevant legal paper work (marriage certificate, birth certificates, divorce decrees, etc.)
• a short autobiographical statement
• other for international adoptions depending on sending country

 

It literally took us weeks to get through just the paperwork portion of our home study.

Home Inspection

We then had to schedule a social worker to come to our home for an inspection.  This included everything from the size and condition of our home to the neighborhood we lived in.

There was also a lengthy safety checklist.  Are there guns in the home? How and where are they stored? Any water (ponds, streams, etc.) on the property? What safety measures are in place for that? Where are medications and chemicals stored in the home?  Are they locked up or out of reach? And on, and on, and on.  Anything and everything that you could think of will be covered during the home inspection.

 

 

Interviews

At some point during the process you will also have to have a one-on-one interview with the case-worker.  There are many questions, some of them are very personal. This is where you will share your feelings on adoption and birth parents.  You will be asked about your parenting style, including how you plan to discipline any future children.   You will need to answer questions about your relationship with your spouse and details of your marriage.

If infertility has played a role in your decision to adopt, you will be asked to talk about that.  Not only have you provided the medical documentation “proving” infertility, you have to talk about how that makes you feel and how it affects your feelings on adoption.

Adoptions and Airplanes

I recently read an analogy that compared adoption to airplanes.

It was written by Koleen Popin, SSW.  I urge you to go here and read it.  I love the parallels that she uses to help her clients understand the home study.

When you are traveling by airplane, you make A LOT of assumptions about the pilot and his abilities to safely fly the plane – along with the condition of the airplane itself.  I think we all like to believe that the pilot not only has all the necessary education, but many years of experience flying an airplane.  And most important, that he knows exactly how to handle any emergency that could arise.

 

 

We also assume that qualified people have inspected the plane to make sure that every part will work the way it is supposed to.  Every nut and bolt is secure, there is plenty of fuel, the tires are in good condition, and the landing gear is functioning.

Before an airplane is cleared for take-off, it must be deemed safe and have a competent pilot “behind the wheel.”

A home study summary is like that for adoption.  It will be used by a judge to get to know your family. Before the adoption can be finalized, he needs to know that your home is deemed safe so you can be cleared for adoption.

I know there are many people who feel a home study is extremely invasive.  Some even think it is unfair that adoptive couples have to go through this! But it is very important!

It’s Required

A home study is required for every adoption in the United States.  Whether it is domestic or international, whether you use an agency or have a private adoption, no matter what state you call home, you are legally required to complete a home study if you want to adopt.  Even the biggest Hollywood stars have to go through this process!

Time Frame

It can take anywhere from 3-6 months to complete the entire home study process!  Once it was over we were able to build our online profile and activate it – hoping that a birth mom would find us and choose us to adopt her baby.

Cost

Another thing you might be worried about is the cost of the home study.  If you are going through an agency, it many or may not be included in the agency fees.  The cost can actually vary a great deal from place to place.  I found many sources that say the range is anywhere from $500-$3,000.

 

 

I believe we spent $1,000 for our initial home study. Your home study will only be good for one year (at least that is the case in Utah).  At that point you will need to renew in order to keep it current.  For us it cost $600/year to renew it.

The renewal process is much easier, because you don’t have to do nearly as much paper work.  The case worker will still come check out your home, but not do such a thorough inspection.  For us, the renewal was mostly just like checking in with our case worker.  She basically asked us if anything had changed from the initial home study.

Privacy

I was recently telling one of my friends about home studies.  She was amazed at how in depth and personal they were and asked if birth moms got to see it.  And I had no clue! I assumed they were kept pretty private, but had never really thought about who would actually have access to all of it.

You should ask your social worker about confidentiality.  But, for sure, your social worker and the judge will both know everything on your home study.  There is also a good chance it will be shared among other social workers and agencies who are trying to match a child with your family.

I have heard that birth parents may have the information from your home study shared with them, in some cases.

Honesty is the Best Policy

Even though some sensitive, personal information may be getting passed around, I urge you to be 100% honest for your home study.  It will really help you find the perfect baby for your home!

I have always considered myself a very private person.  I don’t like oversharing, so I don’t usually do it.  But I also have never felt like I have anything to hide.  So I didn’t feel “picked on” during the home study process, I just considered it something to check off my to-do list so that we could adopt a baby.

However, there was one part that I had a hard time talking about.  And that was the infertility section.  We had already been to the doctor and gotten our medical forms turned in to our case worker.  So she knew the cause of our infertility, she knew that we could never have biological children.

But during the interview we had to discuss it.   I squirmed, I stuttered, but I got through it.  And it taught be something that I think is very valuable.  There are probably a lot of people who feel that way through most of the home study process.  So even though most of it didn’t bother me, I was able to learn and sympathize with people who struggled with sharing so much private information with a stranger.

I could now relate to, and understand people who felt that the home study was hard, or unfair, or scary.

So if you are someone who feels that way – I GET IT!  It really isn’t the most pleasant experience of your live.  But I can tell you one thing …

It’s Worth It

When your baby is placed in your arms, the painfulness and awkwardness of the home study will be long gone.  And you would happily go through it again and again and again if that’s what it would take in order to have that beautiful moment of meeting your baby.

So, if you are wanting to adopt, but hesitate because of the home study, please know that it is worth it!  And if you are concerned that you might not “pass” and be found ineligible to adopt, then you should know that over 90% of families are approved through the home study.  Most case workers are trying to approve you, not find reasons to fail you!

Stay Strong

If you are in the middle of the home study process, stay strong!  I am rooting for you, I am praying for you!  Some where out there, your baby is waiting!  I know the paper work feels unbearable, I know the inspection seems nit-picky, I know most parents don’t have to go through this!  But you can do it!  You are strong!  It will be worth it!

I love you all!  As always, I am anxious to hear your stories, and your thoughts and experiences.  Please, please, please share!  And if you have any questions please ask!  I would love you help you in any way I can!

Thank you my lovely friends!